"Okay, who do I need to buy cards for? I don't want any of the women in my life freaking out on me because I didn't honor her on Mother's Day. Let's see... I have to buy a card for my mom... and make sure I call her... and I can't forget my grandmother or she'll be angry... and my mother-in-law -- I'd better get her a card too... can't have her feeling left out... and we should probably try to see as many of the ladies as possible.... okay, dinner with Mom and Grandma on Saturday... dinner with my wife's mom on Sunday... oh, and my aunt will be at the dinner on Saturday... can't forget to wish her a Happy Mothers Day, oh, and it's her anniversary too... got to get her a card for that...am I forgetting anything? I think I've got my bases covered."
Thinking himself prepared, my husband picks up his sweet little boy from preschool and sees his son's arms full of handmade gifts for Mommy. The little boy is bursting with pride, and my sweetie smacks himself on the forehead and thinks -- oh crap, I forgot about my wife. An emergency stop on the way home to pick up a card, and he thinks -- okay, I'm in the clear. Then, that evening, he sees an advertisement for Mothers Day flowers on TV. Oh no, he thinks, I didn't get her flowers! And at that point a plot hatches in his brain....
This morning my darling son can't WAIT to drag me out of bed to show me what he's made for me for Mothers Day! (There was an agreement that, since it was Mothers Day, my husband would be getting up with the kids while I would be lounging in bed until two in the afternoon if it darn well suited me). After several failed attempts to rouse me, eventually my son jumps in bed with me to get my attention because he just can't contain his excitement any longer. Here, actually, is a picture of my little boy waking me to show me what delights await me downstairs. (This is from the second set of photos taken, after I demand that the first set of photos shot when I am newly awakened, half-conscious and none-too-happy about it be deleted).
Once I drag my sleepy bum downstairs, Evan proudly presents me with a handmade bracelet, a beautiful construction-paper Mothers Day card, a hand-decorated flower pot, and a from-a-kit rainbow with googly eyes on the cloud that actually has a little thermometer attached. I admit it... I melt. As I am showering Evan with praise for his beautiful gifts, my husband says, "Um, did you happen to see my card? It's sitting on the table." Actually I hadn't seen it... probably because it was buried beneath the ten layers of detritus that had accumulated on the breakfast nook since he and the kids had been awake. I read the card, but I honestly don't really comprehend what it says, because it's at that exact moment that I look up and see that my sweet hubby has baked blueberry muffins, and made me coffee too! Epic win! Happy Mothers Day to me!!!
Of course I barely get half a bite in my tummy before my 16-month-old daughter comes toddling my way, screeching "Mama!!! Mama!!!" and whining to be picked up. I look over at my husband for assistance, who, now that I am awake, has returned to his default weekend behavior of putzing about on the laptop. I now have both kids hopping around my ankles like puppies. My daughter is screeching to be held, and my son is shouting, "Isn't that the most BEAUTIFUL bracelet you've ever SEEN, Mommy? Isn't that a nice card I made, Mommy? Do you like it? Isn't it the best card you ever got? Isn't your bracelet pretty? I made it all by myself! Do you like your rainbow? Look -- there's a butterfly on the flower pot! Don't you LOVE the flower pot? I KNOW you like butterflies.. is it your favorite present EVER???" etc, etc....
"Um, honey, a little help here?" I plead. My husband glances up at the kids, says, "Hey, let your mother eat her muffin, okay?" and then goes back to tapping away on the computer. This has the expected effect, which is to say, no effect at all. I quietly pick up my coffee and muffin and leave the room... I will eat my breakfast in the freaking bathroom if it means I can do it with some peace and quiet. It is Mothers Day, after all, and I will have ONE STINKING DAY where I can eat something without having to relinquish half of it to my kids or be barraged with requests that come at me faster than rounds from a rapid-fire machine gun.
After breakfast, I realize that...oops... I actually haven't yet purchased a card for my own mother. As I am frantically getting ready to run out the door to pick up a card before my mom arrives at my house for her Mothers Day visit (I realize at this point that, no, I won't be getting the shower I'd hoped to enjoy before my parents arrive), my hubby stops me and says, "Oh, and, um, you'll notice I didn't buy you any flowers. I was thinking... I know how much you like flowers.... I thought you might like to pick out your own this year. Maybe while you're out getting your mom a card you can stop at the nursery and buy yourself some flowers for Mothers Day. You know -- that way you can get yourself whatever you want."
Whatever I want? REALLY? Okay then... I think I'll skip the local nursery. Instead, tomorrow I'll be driving forty-five minutes to visit a grower who specializes in rare plants, and I'll be buying myself a rare and expensive orchid that I saw featured a month ago at a plant show and have been dreaming about ever since. It's from Hawaii, and it's darn near one of the most amazing plants I've ever seen! And it shall be mine!
Actually... I guess I don't mind so much that my husband forgot to get me flowers after all!
Happy Mothers Day with love to all you moms out there!