Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Little Boob Man

My four-year-old has recently been developing an interest in people's "parts."  His own parts are understandably fascinating to him, and he spends considerable time fiddling with them to see what they're all about. 

When my daughter was born, he would hover over her during diaper changes, furrowing his brow and staring at her crotch.  One time he spoke up and said in a concerned whisper, "Mommy, she doesn't have any parts!!"  I informed him that she has girl parts, which look different from boy parts.  I could just about see the smoke wafting from his ears as his little brain tried to process this information.

Despite his fascination with his what goes on "down south," what he seems most interested in lately... is boobies.  He's asked me plenty of questions about mine over the last couple of years.  When I was breastfeeding my daughter, he would frequently stare at them while I pumped or while she nursed.  One time I attempted to show him where the milk came out, and he said, "I wanna try!" 

Before I could respond, he reached over, roughly gripped my breast and squeezed with all his might.  Milk sprayed across the room, splattering my husband, my son, and eventually the television set, which was at least ten feet away.  He shouted "Wow!!!" 

My husband burst out laughing, and I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.  I was unaware I had that kind of range.  I thought that I should perhaps inform the military -- they might have interest in employing my boobs as some sort of experimental weapon due to their incredible shooting radius.

All manner of questions followed, including "Do they make chocolate milk too?" and "Can ice cream with sprinkles come out of them?"  My son began seeking me out after I showered, trying to catch a glimpse of my swollen mammaries before they were bound back up in their nursing bras.  If he would happen to catch me, he would shout, "Hooray!!! NIPPLES!!!" before skipping down the hall, giggling maniacally.

I have been done with nursing for a couple of months now, but my son's fascination with my boobs, and breasts in general, has not waned.  The other night I was getting him ready for bed, and he came right up to me, stuck his face in my belly, began rubbing my left breast gently, and asked for a snack.  He spoke in a soft voice, repeating, "I'm really hungry, Mommy... please can I have a snack," all the while caressing my breast with his palm.  I gently moved him back and told him that since he had already brushed his teeth, a snack would not be forthcoming.  But the whole thing left me puzzled. 

I told my husband about the teat-touching that had gone on at bedtime, and he shrugged and said he'd do the same thing if I'd let him.  Not helpful.

Then, this past weekend, we were in the kitchen making coffee when we heard our son shout "Wow!!! COOL!!!" from the living room.  I went out to investigate and saw him ogling the following photo in my Glamour magazine:

I marched him to the kitchen to show my husband what the fuss was about.  I glared at my hubby and said, "See what your son found?"  He shrugged as if to say, "What?  I'm sure it's totally innocent."

To prove his point, he asked Evan what was so cool about the photo.  Evan thought for a moment and said, "Her glasses."  My husband looked at me triumphantly.  "Ahhh... her glasses are cool, aren't they?" he said.  "They look like the 3-D glasses you wore at the movies, right?"  My son nodded.  My husband gave me a look that said that I was obviously making a big deal over nothing.

Then my husband asked, "Do you think she's going to the movies Evan?" 

Evan frowned and said, "No." 

"Why not?" my husband asked.  Evan blushed.  A huge grin started to spread across his face, and with a naughty gleam in his eye he said...

"Because she's not wearing a SHIRT!!!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"  He ran off with the magazine, insanely cackling.

I glared at my husband.  He shrugged.  "So he's a boob man!" he said.  "What do you expect?" 

"But he's FOUR!" I said.  My hubby replied, "Well, I guess he takes after his daddy!" 

Oh my -- what am I in for? Stumble Upon Toolbar


  1. LOL!!! This is too funny! Do you have a book on what little kids say? This is really great. Just got my morning laugh!

  2. Thanks for the laugh - truly needed it today! Stopping by from the Fun Tuesday Hop and am now a follower! You can find me
    Yankee Texan Mom , or Mama's Money Tree

  3. Kids know what traits they like! And even as youngsters they are very self aware of body parts.

    My grandson reminds me of your son. When he went to school he was very shy but he took a seat right in front of the teacher. When my daughter asked him why; she was rather shocked he told her the teacher reminded him of grandma (meaning me). When she asked what he meant he made that universal gesture of big boobs with both hands!

    She and my son in law just giggled and giggled but apparently he likes breasts and somehow if comforted or maybe fascinated by them. Either way he's a breast boy for sure...I think it's adorable.

  4. I love it! I almost thought you were talking about my 4 year old son. LOL The things kids do. :)

  5. No words for how funny! My younger dd is like this too. She will point out "booboos" on women in stores, pigs in the barn, and even family members during meals. She is only two, but still slightly creepy.

    On another note I read recently that it is really common for kids to feel especially bonded, even feel a romantic connection, to the parent of the opposite gender between 4 and 6. Strange, but if it is true it might explain part of his fascination......

    I'm still laughing!


  6. Here from MBC. I just got done reading this to my husband and his response was "exactly." This is a great story and I can't wait to read even more.

  7. LOL! I am still laughing! You are too funny!

  8. Oh what a funny story! I just have 2 girls - so haven't had this experience! lucky me!! :)

    Just stopped by from a Wednesday blog hop. I’m following you now and hope you’ll stop by my blog sometime too! Have a lovely week.
    Jill @ Creating my way to Success

  9. I have a boob man, too!! He's 10 now so he can generally keep it together enough to be acceptable in public, but when he was little - ugh! So embarrassing! When he was nursing, he'd yell "bubs bubs" (his word for nursing) at anyone bigger than a B cup!

  10. Hahhaha, wonderful. My husband is a butt man, because unfortunately anything that can be used to feed his children has lost their sex appeal =P My 6 y/o son on the other hand calls them "milks" coz after witnessing his little sister and brother nursing he thinks that's all their good for...I guess he'll follow in his daddy's footsteps as well.

  11. Following back from the Tuesday Fun Hop! Your blog is cracking me up! Love it!

    Have a great week!

  12. HA! My 4 year old is also into the "parts" stage! For a while there that kid was convinced I had a penis I was hiding from him! How do you win that argument without a show?! A show has never taken place and that kid's gonna have to take my word for it! He's also fascinated with my big ol breast feeding boobs! Such a fun age ;0)

    Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

  13. BAHAHA!! This is too funny. Also? You should definitely consider taking your boobs to the military, that's quite the power you have there!

    Thanks for following me, I'm a new follower!

    Zelma @ Zelma's Workshop

  14. That's too funny. Some kids just know what they like, don't they? I can see my nephew liking boobs by the time he's 4. He's 3.5 now.
    I'm a new follower, by the way. I love anyone who can write an entertaining post about boobs.

  15. Following Time 4 Mommy. Hope you return the follow.


  16. This is hilarious. Reminds me of my granddaughter age 6. She tells her Mom (my daughter) and myself that our boobs are 'too fluffy" and that she does not want big boobs. Heaven forbid if we wear anything that is the least bit revealing!
    Newest follower from Thankful for Friends hop.
    Would love for you to visit me at Life or Something Like It.

  17. Stopping by from the Thursday GFC Blog Hop..
    Following GFC..
    Aprils Lifestyle Show Aprils Beauty Blog

  18. Too funny! New follower hoping you'll stop by to read about our educational greeting cards for kids and our other educational tips! http://letterlearning.blogspot.com

  19. Great story. I have many children and grands but none as adventurous as your son. I know he must be a joy to be around. My five year old grand has always been interested in boobs but not for the milk even though every woman in our family has breast fed their babies. I'm following from Thursday Blog Hop. Doylene

  20. Very funny! Impressive rang you've got there! I didn't breastfeed so when my kids see someone doing so they kind of stare with tilted heads for a moment and then just move on. Whew! I'm on to the questions about how babies are born....

  21. Ohhhhhh boy! It starts young, huh? Love your refreshing outlook and humor in it all--I probably would've been embarrassed if that had happened to me!
    Military boobs, ha! A secret weapon--they wouldn't know what hit'm, lol! Thanks for the hilarious posts!

  22. bahahahahhaha... Ok, that was just too funny. Boys are hilarious! Being a mom, has to be the funniest, most rewarding, exhausting job in the world. Btw, thanks for stopping by Polyhobbymommy.com, I hope you enjoined it.

    Take care.

  23. Haaahaaa. Awesome! My youngest is definitely a Boob Man. He is still nursing at 20 months, and all I have to do is take off my shirt and he says "bib boobs" and starts giggling...

    Thanks for the follow, I am following back and can't wait to read more ~

  24. This is SO my 2 year old! He is crazy over boobies! For the longest time, he went through a phase of literally trying to pull them out of my shirt in public. I think the worst was the time he yelled 'boobies' in the middle of a Christmas production in a church. It was mortifying!

    Thanks for linking up at the Wonder Wednesday blog hop!

    Jamie @ www.mamamommymom.com

  25. LOL!! Great post!!!
    New follower from the hop.
    Ro :)
    Have YOU had your Mom-ME Moment yet today?

  26. Enjoyed reading your post...got a big laugh! New follower on GFC from the blog hop. Come follow back at http://thrivingwith5.blogspot.com

  27. LOL, hilarious story! i had to share it with my boyfriend. our son is also a "boob" guy. haha GREAT post! new follower from the weekend blog hop.


  28. Awkward! But soooo funny too! I love kids. They have no filters whatsoever!
    (Visiting from VoiceBoks and following!)

  29. My oldest son had the same issue when our daughter was born he burst into tears because he thought someone "cut off her pee pee"
    Following through the Blog Hop

  30. This is hilarious and sounds so much like my oldest who is now 10 but still says the darndest things. I found your blog on Finding New Friends Blog Hop. Looking forward to following you. My blogs can be found at www.johnsfamily-angel.blogspot.com and www.scrappytweets.blogspot.com
    Hope to see you there :)

  31. I'm following from the hop! Such a funny post! :O) My blog is Love & Tantrums Hope you stop by! :O)

  32. Too cute, I bet you will be in for some huge trouble lol.

    Thanks for the follows and I have followed on facebook & twitter along with gfc.

  33. That is hilarious! I have a 13 year old boy, so I totally get it, and of course, dad's don't help...they are just so proud! Visiting and now following via Finding Friends Hop...hop over to my blog and follow back if you like... http://mom4realky.blogspot.com

    Jessica K

  34. hahahaha you are hilarious! thanks for stopping by my blog..following you back!

  35. Hilarious!!! I just posted about my son and his nipple fascination (his own, let me clarify)!

    Thanks for the follow and I'm doing the same...and GoodReads too! YAY!!!


  36. I can't just stop laughing. He is too funny, cute and so innocent. Your blog is a positive mood maker. I enjoyed this post. Visiting from vB.

  37. have to pick myself up off the floor and controll my shaking body to type ....this is just priceless!!!!!!!
    My son 5 is going through that stage with out the breastfeeding fun- he's the baby BUT BOYS if they LOVE the BOOBS THEY REALLY REALYY LOVE THE BOOBS!!!!!!
    stopping by with vB

  38. Too funny! I am following from the So Followed Saturday blog hop! I cant wait to read more. :)

  39. LOL! Men...they do start early. :)

    Stopping by from voiceBoks.

  40. HAHA!!!

    New blog follower! Come follow back and enter my great giveaways!{A $20 Amazon GC Giveaway Ends Tonight}

  41. This is hilarious! My kids are starting to wonder about body parts and at times I am not sure how to handle :) Thanks for the laugh

    I would be honored if you stopped by. My last post: Ways to Decorate Your Child’s Room

  42. Oh, Blogger ate my last comment! Anyway, funny!

  43. Very funny! Definitely sounds like some conversations we have over here too! I'm a new follower.

  44. Sooo funny!!! He's all boy!! My son did the same thing when he was around that age. He's 16 now, so thankfully, he's more discreet about it now! Ha-ha!
    Thanks so much for hopping by! I'm happily returning the follow!

  45. hey there! New follower here from follow us Monday! I'm also following on twitter too!
    I laughed out loud at this post (so much that I had to spell it out...) Boys will be boys I guess... I hope that when my boy is born and growing up I can laugh at things like this but I imagine when its your child in the moment its not always so funny!
    Can't wait to read more!

  46. Lol Love it!
    Following from the T4M blog hop

  47. My son is three and he recently has realized Mommy has boobs. He saw me breastfeeding my daughter, who was recently weaned. Now that I am pregnant, he will soon see the breastfeeding again, so I'm just waiting for something like this to happen.

  48. Wow... the things kids will ask/say. I'm in for it when my little guy gets a bit older!

  49. Love your blog, wonderful work done.
    Bushra Syed

  50. This had me laughing HYSTERICALLY! I'm pregnant with our first son, and I'm a little bit afraid I just caught a glimpse into our future! Your little boob man is too funny.

  51. Hilarious! It's funny how kids respond to body parts. My six year old daughter doesn't see me in the nude very often anymore. As she's gotten older, the hubby and I have made a more conscious effort to avoid walking around without clothes on in front of her. Except one day after swimming this summer when she begged me to let her shower with me at home. This is something we often did when she was a toddler and I remember my mom doing the same with me in my younger years. (she had no shame...I was a teenager before she stopped walking around in the nude in front of me) So after some hesitation, I agreed. The moment we got into the shower she turned around and started to eyeball me up and down and then the questions started to fly as she visually compared her parts with mine. I'm certain I was blushing the entire time I answered those embarrassing questions and I quickly washed up and made my escape to the refuge of clothing! Never again! I'm not looking forward to the birds and the bees discussion that I'm sure will come in the next few years. Ugh! :)

    Continuing to keep you and your family in my prayers.


  52. Innocent remarks like this makes you laugh all the time. I think you have very bright young man. Curious and observant with his little man boobs.

  53. trying to navigate MBC is hard as a novice, but i finally found someone to follow! thanks for the laughs...and the unintended empathy. :-)


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